Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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