So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
