just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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