in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
