after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
