4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just found puke in my bra..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize