I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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