forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize