Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
