Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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