Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
