You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
