Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
