I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
