So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
