Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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