So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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