shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Randomize
