Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
