There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
