I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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