can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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