New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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