you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
