I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
