I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
