Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
