I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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