Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
