Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
