i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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