I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
