there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
