Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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