What a fucking waste of an outfit
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
