I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
