He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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