Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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