look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
