just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
