I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
