I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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