I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
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Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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