I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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