we're blogging at a bar
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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