How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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