No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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