check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You can't special order awesome
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
