What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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