I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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