So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
