it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
