I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
