No awkward lesbian experiences without me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
