Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
