I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
