As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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