just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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