Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
