I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
