If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
