She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
