I got chris browned last night
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
